Aspie's and sexuality
I believe that the subject of sexuality and Asperger’s needs
to be discussed more and in an open way. The purpose of this post is to help
people understand the topic a little more and discuss some things that can be
done to improve outcomes in regards to relationship understanding for Aspies.
I would like to firstly point out Maslow’s hierarchy of
needs as it is a good framework to consider when looking at improving quality
of life. As seen in the drawing below, arguably sex is one of the most
important motivators with sexual intimacy and friendship being on the third
most important level. Maslow acknowledged the likelihood that the different
levels of motivation could occur at any time in the human mind, but he focused
on identifying the basic types of motivation and the order in which they should
be met.
The difficulties that Aspies face vary from individual to
individual, however there are a lot of commonalities. Research into the sexual
understanding of Aspies is in its infancy however studies (and my personal
experiences and of other Aspies) suggest that Aspies are as interested sex (and
intimate relationships) as anyone else, but many struggle with the myriad of
complex skills required to successfully negotiate intimate relationships. In my
research into the subject I have also noticed that although some Aspies (like
myself) don’t have major sensory issues, others do which can make intimacy a
challenge. AS
will also affect communication, both verbal and nonverbal, social interaction and
empathic thought. It can also cause obsessive interests, need for structure and
routine, motor clumsiness
People with Asperger syndrome can sometimes appear to have an ‘inappropriate’, ‘immature’ or ‘delayed’ understanding of sexual codes of conduct. This can sometimes result in sexually inappropriate behaviour. For example, a 20-year-old with Asperger syndrome may display behaviours which befit a teenager.
Even individuals who are high achieving and academically or vocationally successful can have trouble negotiating the ‘hidden rules’ of courtship.
After searching for a suitable educational programmes that
relate to AS and sexuality I found one include many relevant topics and to be
in a group structure which will also help participants to improve on their
social skills. The program can be found in full in the book “Asperger’s
Syndrome and Sexuality From Adolescence Through Adulthood” By Isabelle Henault.
As far as I know this educational programme is the only programme to be
developed and tested and is specifically to meet the needs of people with
AS. The course includes 12 workshops,
each with its own topic. Although previously unpublished, the programme has
been empirically validated and tested in practice with four groups. The results
from these trials are also found in the book.
People with Asperger syndrome can sometimes appear to have an ‘inappropriate’, ‘immature’ or ‘delayed’ understanding of sexual codes of conduct. This can sometimes result in sexually inappropriate behaviour. For example, a 20-year-old with Asperger syndrome may display behaviours which befit a teenager.
Even individuals who are high achieving and academically or vocationally successful can have trouble negotiating the ‘hidden rules’ of courtship.
As Dr Tony Attwood says in the new book published by JKP “Been
There, Done That, Try This!” “Their (Aspies) sources of information on
sexuality may not be peers or personal experiences, but more likely the media,
literature and possibly pornography.” This is why specific education needs to be
provided to Aspies as more in-depth education will fill in the gaps that cause by
lack of intuition. Specific sexual education is also important to help avoid such
issues as Aspies getting into trouble with the law by acting inappropriately
(such as accessing illegal pornography or stalking potential partners) and
becoming victims of sexual assault because they got taken advantage of and in
some cases this is caused (through no fault of their own) by not knowing what
the intentions of their partner are.
After searching for a suitable educational programmes that
relate to AS and sexuality I found one include many relevant topics and to be
in a group structure which will also help participants to improve on their
social skills. The program can be found in full in the book “Asperger’s
Syndrome and Sexuality From Adolescence Through Adulthood” By Isabelle Henault.
As far as I know this educational programme is the only programme to be
developed and tested and is specifically to meet the needs of people with
AS. The course includes 12 workshops,
each with its own topic. Although previously unpublished, the programme has
been empirically validated and tested in practice with four groups. The results
from these trials are also found in the book.
Through more exposure of this issue I believe that more
organisations will realise that there is a need for specific education programs
for Aspies and will look into the issue of sexuality more and develop and
refine programs to suit this need for education. Also Aspies will realise there
are resources out there to help them recognise their deficits and how to work
around them.
If you have any comments/questions on this article or there
is anything that you would like me to cover in a future blog post (as I want to
write an article more in depth in the future regarding AS and sexuality) please
leave a comment.
For anyone interested in reading about the perspective of a male Aspie (written in first person) using internet dating successfully please see Garry Burge's post here.
For anyone interested in reading about the perspective of a male Aspie (written in first person) using internet dating successfully please see Garry Burge's post here.
REFERENCES AND
RESOURCES
http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/published/AS_in_the_Bedroom.shtml 
