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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Guest Post: Alyssa from Yes, That Too

From Yes, That Too
What Reading Self-Advocate Blogs Does

I probably wrote this way back in October, and I have had thoughts about the term self-advocatesince, but here's one of the things I wrote on Autism NOW. Not sure when the rest will be up.

Trigger Warning: Mentions of abuse, tragedy/burden talk

There's plenty of autistic people blogging, mostly adults since it's mostly adults who blog. Most of the ones I've read, most of the autistic adults who are involved in advocacy that I've talked to, most of the parents who "get it" say how important it is to listen to autistic adults. Some people might take the "what's in it for me" approach. I'd prefer that self-determination and the right to be included in conversations that concern your own future be reason enough, but just in case it isn't, here are some answers of how it really does help parents to read self-advocate blogs and how it really does help kids when their parents "get it," which is a pretty common result of reading them.

You can have hope. Too many of the resources you will find about autism paint a rather dreary picture of a person who will never do, well, anything. Self-advocate blogs and blogs written by Autistic adults that don't have any more relation to autism than "the writer is Autistic" both give back the idea that yes, Autistic people really can be satisfied with their lives. It's not even that unusual. It also gives the idea that somehow becoming less disabled isn't a prerequisite for being satisfied with life, which helps with seeing your kid as something other than a tragedy.
You can get a good idea of what needs to change so that your child will be OK as an adult. Unfortunately, many of us have had some bad experiences. Reading about them is hard. Imagining that something like that could happen to your child if societal perceptions of autism don't change provides quite the impetus to make sure things do, and it can help you realize that the way you treat autistic adults is, well, the way you are suggesting autistic adults should be treated. That's how you're suggesting people treat your child later.

You can get a good idea of what therapies and skills your child will find most likely find useful later (communication skills of some type, ability to speak up about problems, ability to remove oneself from a bad situation) and which ones are less likely to be useful/more likely to make your kid really, really angry (suppressing all stimming, working towards a career that is not interesting, being taught not to have boundaries.)

You might get a better idea of what is going on in your kids head. Plenty of people talk about how frustrating it is to have no clue what their kid is thinking, and while we don't know exactly what's going on in any head besides our own, there is a good chance that at least one of us has reacted similarly in a similar situation, and it's reasonable that something similar was going through our heads at that point. (Demanding these explanations is bad because it's not our job to translate your kid, but I'm not arguing if you get that understanding from stuff I write anyways and I'm an educator at heart so I'll probably try to answer if you ask.)

You might get a better idea of how your kid can communicate better. (Typing is a favorite of mine, and is generally worth a try.) You can get ideas for things you can try with explanations of exactly how and why it helps and how to tell if it is working. 

Being able to think of your kid as something other than a tragedy and a burden is good for your mental health. It's also good for your kids mental health, since knowing that your family considers you a tragedy and a burden really sucks. Like, this is of the level where people have committed suicide over being considered a tragedy and a burden. Talk to any parent of a child who died of cancer- a living child is much better than a dead one, always. Go read Don't Mourn for Us while you're at it- it covers the idea that you have an autistic child, and the neurotypical child you may have expected never existed, is not trapped inside the child you have. Having a mentally healthy autistic child is much better than having a psychologically traumatized autistic child, too. Basically, realizing that your kid being autistic is not inherently tragic is going to be good for both your and your kids mental health. 

Long story short, as long as your goals for your child come anywhere near lining up with the ones most parents of neurotypical kids I've spoken to have (wanting the kid to be happy, satisfied with their own life, not in danger of dying due to physical/medical needs having been neglected, not traumatized, not getting abused,) reading the blogs of autistic people is a way to realize that all this is possible and give you both hope that this will happen for your kid and ideas on how to help your kid make it happen. Sure, you won't be there to take care of your child forever, but if you help your child learn to take care of his or herself and to get help from others when needed, you won't need to be.

7 comments:

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eman sherkawy said...


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eman sherkawy said...


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Isabella Math said...

Nothing is not possible in this word.
Herpes I cried out for 8moths had a cure and was making use of the Medication that never wanted a life living on drugs, I applied Antibiotics, he prescribed for me the acyclovir(Zovirax), famciclovir (Famvir), andvalacyclovir (Valtrex).
They never get me cured.
My God keep blessing you and your Family. Dr
ODEY ABANG, your a powerful Herbalist fir your work in my life
I wish you know how I feel inside me when I was making use of does tablets that never could there get me cured. I had to search about some of my favourite blogs when I thought about Dr Odey abang from the testimonies of patients and I remember a friend who told me I should try Dr. Odey Abang herbal medicine. He told me the man can cure me,but was shy and feel its dirty taking in herbs made with African herbalists.
You need to know I would have been cured before now since I knew him then, but still interested in letting you that was my punishment.
Thanks reading my article, feel good and not make my mistake, I love testimonies and explanations of the new beginning is all I hope for
Think about your live and use herbs to get you cured of your challenge on
HIV/Aids
SYPHILIS
DIABETES
CANCER
ALL CAN BE CURED WITH MANY OTHERS BY DR. ODEY ABANG
His email is for you so you speak to him

Odeyabangherbalhome@gmail.com
WhatsApp number +2349015049094

Engr Eric Davis said...

Hello to the word, I'm Engr Eric David, I have confirmed and till now I'll still anouced to the public and the people around me that the best way to get rid of this health challenges is to contact the relaible Herbalist for herbal cures.
I read deaply to have believe and try to made used of the medicine. When I was diagnosed on 10/10/2015, it was only the English prescribed I made use of all through, it was a very big stress for me, I had a friend who introduced me to to the great Herbalist of African, Dr. Odey Abang he's very popular now in my State, Anchorage, Alaska where I lives. I contacted him as my friend directed me to him for a help. Glory to God, my case is settle among many others are My two Cousins, James and John with wife's he cures from HIV/ AIDS, And till now, none of this had been confirmed in us, feel so blessed and happy to be back again as I was being born. I have been diagnosed severally and still shows nothing in us, Dr. Odey Abang is a God's sent Herbalist
You can reach as well as inform your loves ones to get ride of this deathly viruses.
You can reach him in either way
Email-
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God bless

Thomas Vivian said...

Always, anywhere and anytime,I feel very comfortable now all to the work of Dr Odey Abang,the Herbalist who prepare for me the remedies to my health challenges.
I could feel more comfortable when he explained to me how dangerous it's caring Herpes with me getting affected easily with Other sexually transmitted infections. Genital sores increases my risk of transmitting or contracting other sexually transmitted infections, including AIDS.
Newborn infection. ...
Bladder problems. ...
Meningitis. ...
Rectal inflammation (proctitis).
I was so scared when he says that because I found a lover who ran into it and had a shock on me after the checkup and develop stroke.
This has been my earnest prayers for the physician therapist to come in with positive solutions to remedies Herpes and most viral infections. I'm now free and I thank God for leading me to see others getting cured with Herbs. I decided to try and found out that the best way I would have done was to get rid of it and give my testimony. Glory to God I became free after I received his medicine from the DHL and applied as instructed. Till date I had no SYMPTOMS nor virus to detect of me, I called him and thankful for what he did,and ask if he could cure my stroke boyfriend,he said yes and did the same preparation to my boyfriend for his stroke and Recoverd from it. Nothing is impossible with Herbs IN CURES, you're the next if you will be willing to apply his medicine and instructions on how to manage.
Sickness has no right to dwell on us,you can reach him at his email address
For your immediate response to health

odeyabangherbalhome@gmail.com

Sierra Nibbe said...

I TESTED POSITIVE TO HIV SINCE 2018

I was told by my doctor that there's no possible cure for it but it can be suppressed with the use of medication!! I felt depressed & sad. I started taking my medication. I felt frustrated, so I tried to seek help online when I came across this website (https://chiefdrluckyherbaltherapy.wordpress.com/) of a doctor called Chief Dr Lucky.  Also I saw a lot of testimonials about him on how he uses natural herbal medicine to cure HIV AIDS and numerous Infections & different kinds of disease as well. So I contacted him and told him my problems after a brief consultation with him. He Prepared and  sent me the herbal medicine and I took it as he instructed me, Then he called me 3weeks after to go and have a check-up!! It brought out testing negative, I felt calm a bit, and the doctors day for more clarity I will have to come back after 1week of which I did and tested negative for the second time !! I am so wow and grateful to this doctor whose medicine has NO SIDE EFFECT, there's no special diet when taking the medicine. He also have cure for 
+HERPES 
+CANCER
+HEPATITIS
+HIV/AIDS
+PCOS
+FIBROID
You can contact him via Email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com or whatsapp +2348132777335

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