((dealing with a break up of my own. Thought this would be good therapy.))
It was going to be a long spring break. I know as soon as I picked Tikaani up from Piano Lessons he was in a bad mood. Rocking softly with Tig's frown on his face. Something happened, I didn't push it at first until I noticed that he was crying. Then I had to ask. For the almost fifteen years I've raised this boy, I've never seen him cry when he was sad. It was out of frustration as a child and as a teen he stopped crying in public. Now my wolf cub was bawling.
“Baby, what happened?” I asked as I pulled into the freeway. He continued to cry as he pulled out his communicator and started tapping on it. He pressed 'enter' and his machine-voice spoke for him. “Shantel broke up with me. Heart pain, go away, all done now Auntie” the communicator said in it's artificial voice. Oh god. Shantel Hensley. I know Tikaani has been dating her on and off. She was in a car crash as a small child and suffered brain damage. She is a sweet girl and her parents are wonderful people, but tends to over react a lot and is really high in emotion. Apparently something broke the camel's back and Shantel broke up with him. I saw it coming really. Shantel has always been bossy with Tikaani, she is accepting of his disability but always had a habit of pushing him. Tikaani has always been the stubborn type. So it was inevitable, does it mean it shouldn't hurt. Tikaani was rocking and rubbing his hands over his face. Rubbing the tears all over his mocha colored face. It was going to be a long evening too...
I saw it coming months ago. When Shantel stopped texting me before to say good night. She keeps saying she forgets but she never did previously. Now last month when she stopped texting me I knew something was up. I got my answer when my best friend JC told me that Shantel was cheating on me.
“I saw her with Scoots, you know Tikaani, Eddie Collins, Scoots? She was with him.”
“So. She goes with boys. I'm not jealous.
“Tikaani..she was making out with him, I saw it and everything. I even asked her when Scoots left that if she was still dating you and stuff she told me it was none of my damn business.”
“I...I am not jealous. I'll talk to Shantel, get whole facts down.”
JC has Aspergers, and always been the type to state things without knowing how they might affect someone. I do the same thing honesty, so I couldn't judge him. But when he told me that Shantel was cheating on me...I could tell he was being really careful not to hurt my feelings. I think that's why he's my best friend. Because he works hard not to let his “aspieness” try to effect our relationship. Not going to lie, I did have a crush on him for a while, but he's not bisexual like me, he likes girls. So I never told him.
The break up happened after Piano Lessons. She came down from Mr. Sanchez office from her own Vocal Lessons and wanted to talk to me. I felt a weird sick feeling in my belly. Like the kind you get when you're gonna throw up. I know something was going to happen. I didn't know what. I pulled my hair and started to take off my jacket. I tried to brace myself, but it wasn't good enough.
“I'm sorry Tika, it's not working. This relationship is hurting both of us, I can't be your girlfriend anymore.”
“Yeah Tikaani, it's all done. Look you're a really sweet boy. But It's really hard to have relationship with someone that seems to be lost always in their world. I know you can't help it and you seem to find ways to talk with your iPhone...”
“Not lost in world, well acquainted with it. All done. All done.”
“Tikaani do you understand at all?”
“Yes. Not girlfriend. All done.”
Yeah I understand I know what a break-up is. I also know that you are a cheating bitch. It doesn't matter anyway. It doesn't seem to matter whether she was faithful or not. When it comes down to it. Everything falls apart.
Tikaani didn't eat much as it was expected. I warned Maka and Amana that Tikaani was going to be surly this evening. I found him downstairs in the basement with his punching bag. Type O Negative was blasting in background. When girls deal with break ups, they binge on ice cream and chick flicks. When boys deal with break ups, they drink. When Tikaani grieves he blasts metal and industrial music and beats the shit out of punching bag.
“Hey sweetie, do you feel like talking about what happened?” I asked thinking that now that he moved to drink down his power-aid he could talk to me. His communicator was charging near by. He signed no and shook his head, yet he picked up his device.
“Shantel cheated. JC told me. He saw. He doesn't lie. Can't lie. All done with cheater. Stick with guys now.” he put down his device and started to play “Smooth Criminal” fitting for some reason. I smiled sadly and put a hand on his broad shoulder.
“Hunny, guys can be cheaters too, just ask Amana.”
“Guys are honest. Girls try to be nice.”
I gave him a wry smile. In Tikaani's mind. He rather have brutal honestly than careful eggshell walking. I don't blame him. I got up to leave him to work out his grief, knowing I had dishes to do. I couldn't help recall when a psychologist told me that Tikaani wouldn't fall in love, that autists don't understand romantic love. I laughed at him. I told him that just the fearful abled world not wanting to admit that people like him have feelings. Have hearts that break. It makes it easier to persecute and oppress when you dehumanize something. He just stared at me and gave an awkward cough. Anyone that says that autistics don't have hearts to break, needs to hear my nephew cry as he kicks the punching bag. Desperately wanting the heart break to go away.